


Say Something

by syrenhug



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, M/M, Please Forgive me, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 21:19:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1662809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syrenhug/pseuds/syrenhug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you go silent people decide they have to be extra loud.     Ethan/Nico.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Say Something

The moon looks like the sun and he isn't sure when the last time he opened his mouth was.

The floor is freezing. Maybe that's why he presses himself into it and closes his eyes. His body will numb eventually. He won't be able to tell cold from warm, pain from pleasure. Nothing.

Nothing.

Nico sleeps.

* * *

When you go silent people decide they have to be extra loud. It's offensive, if he's going to be honest. But it's also telling. A learning experience. He never noticed how much Leo uses his hands when he talks or how Piper pauses in the middle of certain words like she's tasting them in her mouth. Hazel has a soft voice and Percy's laugh bounces against the walls.

Only Ethan stays the same. Goes about his business in the apartment with his usual gruff.

"They want you to talk to them about it."

He swallows. The coffee is disgusting. No sugar in sight.

"I don't care," Ethan says. His eyes aren't as dark as they usually are. Sometimes Nico feels like he's just woken up from a nightmare. He sees the world so clear now that it hurts his mind. "Nico."

He looks down at the table. He remembers when Hazel bought it for them as a housewarming present. It wasn't like they were going to pick out furniture without prompting.

The chair hits the edge of the table and he flinches.

"I don't care." He states, again. Seriously. But Nico doesn't believe him. He really doesn't.

* * *

The worst thing about is, that he wishes that he could be upset or angry or sad. But he's just a blank page.

The days pass on and he doesn't  _not_  want to pass on with it. It's just that he doesn't know how.

He doesn't know why.

* * *

Eventually, Ethan starts kissing him again.

At first, fire pours through him because chapped lips and cinnamon exploding on his tongue. It's nice to feel something. But then he thinks about darkness and his jaw aching and  _why, why, why_  and he's so angry that he screams into Ethan's mouth.

* * *

Jason comes over and sits on the bed. He's the only one who hasn't tried to get him to say anything about it. He reached forward and brushes Nico's hair back with soft fingers. He melts into it for just a second, just a minute.

"We don't want you to be fine. Not yet. You deserve to be bothered about this. You deserve to be-" The fingers still in their movements. "I'm really upset. And it didn't even happen to me. I can't imagine how you feel."

Feel, he repeats to himself. And then he just can't stop. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel. Feel.

In the end, though, it's just word. He doesn't know how to get it back.

* * *

One night he has a nightmare and climbs into bed with Ethan. He's sprawled all over the place with his strangely long hair all in his face.

"Nico?" He groans. Obviously, he doesn't expect a response. Just extends his arm and drapes it around his waist loosely when Nico rests his body on top of his.

He puts his lips over the top of Ethan's shirt and he rasps, even though no one can hear him, "Yes. It's me."

* * *

There's a lot of shame. It sloshes through his stomach like water at random times. He just-

People have the same thing happen to them and they wish they could forget. Get rid of the nightmares, the sudden likeness of words or movements. But he wants to remember. Because his body is a stranger to him. And he wants to know what happened. He wants to know that it really wasn't his fault.

"I wish I could help you." Ethan admits, kissing his forehead. Which is weird, because that was mostly Nico's panted move before.

 _You do, just by being here_ , he thinks, but it feels too  _something_. "I wish you guys would let it go. I'm fine."

"No. You're not. And your friends-"

"They're your friends too."

Ethan's hair gets stuck in his mouth as he shakes his head. "No. Not in the way that their yours."

He swallows. "I'm sorry."

"Fuck, Nico, don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know. I'm just-"

The seed of a kiss is planted on his cheek this time and he's hit with such an overwhelming amount of fondness for his boyfriend, for his family, that he cries.

* * *

He cries off and on for days. Afterwards, he's glad for it. Tired and swollen, sure, but there. Alive.

"If you want to, we can tell you what the police said." Piper reaches, sipping on her tea with hesitant but determined lips. Leo and Percy are playing footsie under the table and Hazel is laughing at them.

Nico bites his finger nail. Thinks.

"I'd rather not. Not yet. But thanks."

"You're welcome." She smiles, bright and fond, and he knows he's going to be okay.


End file.
